Things to read

There are several books on my list to read.  I have been in the heat of graduate work for the past couple of years, so pleasure reading has fallen through the cracks.  Recently, my wonderful husband Chris asked me to read a book called, "The shaping of things to come" by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch.   So over the break, I plan to read that and finish reading, "Real Sex" by Lauren Winner.  The first book is about Christianity today and what it looks like as a post-Christian society and the second book is a book about Chastity.  As I venture to make relationships with younger women, I'd like to have some tools to use in ministering to them and encouraging women in faith.  I'm always looking for new books to read, so let me know if you come across any!

Halloween

Tonight I passed out candy to cute little kids.  I was surprised that no older kids came out and tried to get candy.  I enjoy seeing the little ones in their costumes. I dressed up too, and gained the approval of many 9 year olds :)  Gotta love kids.  

In other news, my new nephew is expected to be born any time now.  We're just anxiously awaiting the call. 

CLS II

This is my Hunny.  He's amazing!  He fixes things that are broken.  He cuddles me when I need it.  He's tough.  He's a great friend. He's not afraid to be himself.  He makes me laugh.  He loves God and loves others.  He is my biggest supporter.  He wants our lives to be rich in the intrinsic things that matter.  I'm so glad I married my best friend.  Thank you Lord for letting our paths cross :) 

Injustice

For me, injustice is so frustrating.  

Speaking from personal experience and from witnessing others scrutinized by a perpetrator who believes their view is elite and all knowing.  As if we humans have the right to be "all knowing and all powerful."  I will write about 2 separate experiences that have recently occurred.  

1.  I made friends with a woman at work.  She is kind, quiet natured, respectful, and interesting.  She grew up in Calcutta and saw Mother Theresa when she was a child in school.  Fascinating story.  But, my friend opened my eyes to another world.  

I found myself at Walmart.  Needed an oil change.  There was an Indian (from India) couple there and they were also getting oil.  I took care of my business and waited patiently in the room.  As I was there, I witnessed the Indian man being mistreated and "blown off" by the clerk at the counter.  I couldn't believe he wasn't answering the customer's questions about what type of oil he should put in the car.  This man obviously didn't have a clear idea of the difference between the oil selections.  He wanted the best for his car but, didn't want to get ripped off! Thankfully, my dad taught me about oil in cars from a young age and I was, at least, able to give him good advice.  

But, my heart was appalled at the mistreatment of this man.  How discomforted he must have felt being in a place that wouldn't understand him.

2.  I have to finish my graduate work.  I'm happy to do whatever it takes to get this degree done.  I've worked hard for it.  I found a class, talked to the professor, registered, and was set to attend class last night.  In my mind, it was all worked out.  Then I got a nasty e-mail from this power tripping department head.  I called him to resolve the issue and he treated me in a demeaning, belittling, "there's no excuse for you", "I wash my hands of you", kind of way.  He talked to me like I was irresponsible and neglectful of important things.  

If you know me, you know that I am a rule follower.  At least the important rules :)  If you know me, you know I like to do things right the first time and I try hard to make that happen.  If you know me, you know I try hard to be respectful.  If you know me, you know I hate when others are mistreated or misunderstood.

The point....HE DIDN'T KNOW ME.  He made snap judgements about the kind of student I was based on his prior knowledge and experiences working with students (that were not me).  AND, he was MEAN!!!!  

Nevermind that I have a 3.9 GPA at a sound University.  Nevermind that I had people at this other school bend over backwards to help me get all the classes in I could before I moved states.  Nevermind that I'm paying him money out of MY OWN POCKET to help pay for his lively hood.  

Injustice.   What a pain in the neck.

Family

My family is a close knit group of people.  I know where I came from and there's no denying it :)  I get reminded every time there is a gathering of the group...especially on the 4th of July.  It's about the only time we all get to see each other any more.  But, growing up it was different.  Holiday's were a big deal and we all got together then.  All 25 + of us.  Those are some of the best memories I have from my childhood.  I'm a family kind of girl.  

This summer my husband and I went up to the "motherland," more commonly known as the Upper Peninsula, to celebrate the 4th of July with my extended family.  On our trip up, we were considering whether I should stay up there longer or just head back with him at the end of the week.  You see, my Aunt Gloria was very sick with cancer.  Being healthy and only 52, we figured she had the best chance of fighting it out, but we knew that the kind of cancer she had was very aggressive.  We tried to be hopeful.  She fought strong.  My mother (Gloria's older sister) was planning to stay up and help her for the month of July and I considered staying to help her too.  

As it turned out, our "vacation" up north was tough.  As soon as we got up north, we got in the car and travelled south to my Aunt's house.  She was admitted to the hospital and it wasn't looking good.  I was unnerved.  When we got down to the hospital, only two people could go into the room at a time.  When it was my turn, I was very uneasy.  As soon as I saw her, I had to turn away.  I tried to have the courage not to cry, but my Aunt's body was beaten up, bloated, and disoriented from the Chemo.  I wasn't prepared for what I saw.  The images I had in my head of her were energetic, joyful, hard working, loving, and strong.  The woman in that bed was beaten up and weak.  I didn't know what to say and my eyes just streamed with tears.  My other aunt came up to me and said stop crying and go talk to your Aunt Gloria.  

It was wonderful.  I'll never forget the things she said to me.  She knew all about our move to Chicago, Chris's new job and what I was doing.  She cared deeply about what we were doing and how we liked our new home.  Our conversation couldn't have been longer than 5 minutes before I got asked to leave so others could come in, but I'm so grateful for that time.  Chris got to go in and pray with her, read scripture and be with her too.  The next morning we had to rush to the hospital.  She slipped into a Coma.  It was awful.  We all cried and sat in the waiting room.  It was frustrating that we couldn't surround her and be in with her (stupid ICU rules).  Two of her three kids were there.  There were so many emotions going around.  

My Aunt Gloria was well loved by all of us.  She and my Uncle Gary let 5 of us cousins live with them during the first two years of college.  It was WAY better than the dorms and gave us an opportunity to get to know our littler cousins better.  So, those of us who stayed there had an extra special appreciation and love for our Aunt and Uncle.  

When we were going through the funeral services and all that surrounds that, my Uncle Gary came up to me, hugged me and said, "She loved you, Kristan."  I'll never forget that.  He could have told every one there the same thing, but the thing about it was, it was true.  I never once doubted that she loved me and my brothers and my cousins.  She was an amazing woman!

I can't help but think that God had a plan for all of us being there with her as she passed on.  We all laughed, cried, shared stories, and held on to hope.  The things that bring us together as a group are sometimes highs and sometimes lows, but we always come back to our roots.  Family.

Life

This week, the thought has crossed my mind more than twice, "I am very blessed."  In my heart I have realized that God has really provided for us this past year and he continues to do so as we continue to learn more about him and try to serve him.  Moving to Chicago was a big leap of faith.  I was comforted by an overwhelming sense of peace throughout the journey that lead us here.  We had many people helping us out in the transition.  I'm very thankful to people like Gary and Wendy Byram, The Mearse's family, The Thomas's, The Little's, and many others for providing answers, meals, help moving, etc.  We have found people here to be so open and helpful.  God really has his hand in this city and he's called us here to be vessels for him.  But, beyond moving transitions, God has also given me a wonderful man to walk this path.  

Chris is my best friend.  He's my buddy and I love spending time with him.  He has depth, humor, and is down to earth.  We have had such a great time learning to depend on each other as we learn to make new friends and settle into a new life.  It's truly amazing having a life next to someone who makes it easy to respect and love.  I'm reminded daily of what a gift marriage is to me.  I love him!

Perspective

Last night, Chris and I went to package food for an organization called, "Feed my starving children."  It's basically a place where a group can go, package a vegetarian meal that is shipped to many different countries around the world.  Haiti, African countries, and Sri Lanka are a few places that receive the food.  It was an experience.  This was our second time.  

For years, I've had compassion for people that have less than I and I've always wanted to do and not just want to do in these cases.  This compassion has lead me to inner cities, Kenya, Uganda, and back home again.  I'm profoundly affected by people who serve others.  So, Kudos to all who work to make life better for others.  

Still changes

Latest blessing:  I'm employed!  What an appreciation I feel for having a job.  I've had a lot of emotionally taxing things to consider and work through this summer.  One of those times where I'm grateful for having gone through them, but glad to move past.  

I find myself in a place of not knowing how to respond.  Sometimes in life you want badly to take away someone else's point of pain or insecurity or frustration.  It's a hard thing to want, and a definite hard thing to accomplish.  I don't expect that we are really supposed to take it away in the first place, but, instead, walk beside the person.   

I thank God for bringing us where we are.  I trust that it is for his glory.

Transitions

Well, we now live in a new place.  People say that the most stressful times in a marriage are moving to a new place and finances.  Well, we conquered moving to a new place with few problems.  Chris and I travel well together and we seem to be a good balance when stressful things come up.  So, all in all I'm glad the move went so well.  

In this recent transition of life, I was able to see God's hand in something more powerful than I have in a long time.  It was exhilarating, encouraging, and a good dose of faith steroids to pump me up.  We made of list of God-sized road blocks and he just dissolved one after another.  I sit here resting in the hope that he will dissolve yet another.  The last one on the list.  I need a job.  Teacher Certification hold ups at the state level have caused me to watch several teaching jobs go by without even a glance in my direction.  One would think that I could possibly have control over the process...yet I don't.  I have done my part and am at the mercy of others to do their job....  tough place to be, yet I have peace that something is supposed to work out.  I may be the next Wal-mart greeter.  Except, someone told me I wasn't old enough. Next.  

I'm living in peace.  The peace of God.